One rejection too many

For those who read my main blog, as well as here, you know that for the last four years, and a small amount of change, I have been trying, unsuccessfully, to rejoin the society known as America.

Today, the final effort on that, under everyone else's terms, failed. Despite positive feedback, and a desire on both parts.

So, for the next little while, I shall fall silent. Not out of depression, but as I draft a new plan to rebuild my life. A traditional job probably will not be part of that plan. Nor will any of the other things most would expect of someone reduced as far down as I am to turn to. I refuse to turn to crime, save for illegal camping due to lack of housing after finishing a project for friends who have aided me the last year.

Closing the rants soon

These rants will roll back into my main blog soon...
well, maybe. i might just delete it all, and see if that impacts my ability to have any form of income.

Or, maybe I will delete everything, make a free offering of "The compiled writings of the homeless bum" and walk off...

Why?

Simple... today, well most of the last 30 days actually, whispers, rumors, and hints were made to and about me, that made it to my ears slowly....

It seems, that after 4 years of trying, I need to remove certain firms from my resume, as they are tired of answering those inquiries.... firms... more than one. One I understand, technically, it is now beyond the 10 year maximum frame unless someone wants to know "everything" about me.
Also, it seems that folks who asked me to do them favors, legally, in finding work/getting problems at jobs resolved correctly and to both my then and their now company satisfaction, want those markers... erased without any form of redemption... fine... some of that was the customer service extra mile, but the personal time favors? You want those erased?

What does a resume with no work experience look like to folks, when a grey-beard like me walks in? And, no, I refuse to dye my beard, I earned my white and grey fur, every freaking strand of it...

What does it look like, when someone changes their filed resume, to delete the work history? Retraction of lies?

It was bad enough that several times in the past, to get a job, I had to show my tax records to the security vetting group or the prospective employer's HR to prove that the company, now defunct or under new management, had indeed employed me, despite their claims otherwise, or open statement of "we did not keep files from the previous management".

So, now I have to rethink everything... and I do mean everything. What should be done by me, and will some old markers for favors.

Worse, Why should I EVER trust folks, and do right by them, if they will not return that favor?

I'm reviewing the markers in my head, and erasing those where folks made the effort, at least. Those who refused, well, maybe I can ask Karma to collect for me... sell that evil wench those markers...


Yeah, say it... call me every name in the book, if I do sell those markers to Karma... just remember... I asked nicely, waited it out, in case it was just timing, then when you said what you did, well that sealed the transfer, if Murphy of that law of bad timing heard....

One bit of advice... to those who ask these things.....
Don't ask me to pretend you didn't and forgive you, down the road.... Be honest, say it: "Yeah, I turned my back on you when you were down and needed help, but now... I need a hand again>"

I might forgive, and do it. If you ask nice, and apologize. I'm that kind of guy.

Finally...

Either tomorrow afternoon, or Monday before Noon(-ish), I'm headed into the hills. I've had it with society for a while. Need to detox my soul, my body (sorry, taken too many allergens in lately, so I need a purge period away from most of them), and my head (the first two are jamming up my creativity).

But, before I head out, one last little rant.

Apparently, according to some, I am the sole fault in my current situation, and all bad things that ever hit me in my life.

Yeah, well, maybe I bear part of the blame, but never all.

Look in the mirror, folks. Look into those eyes, and if you can convince that person I'm just a waste of space, fine. Pass that judgement, but be ready for a return judgement from me.

I've had it with folks saying they want my help, but only on their projects, to forward their ends, not mine. Those who aid the homeless claim to understand us all, but act like it's all mental illness, drug abuse, or something else in their little niches.

My only mental illness is a nasty temper, which has a much longer fuse than any think, and moments when my social skills slip away, and I give you the brutal truth, from my point of view, sans tact.
And that is what this is about.

You see, as you have judged me, I feel no more need to hold back the sarcasm, criticisms, or just meanness I've swallowed, a lot more than others think I do. I will no longer be holding that back. You pop off your stupid opinions around me, I'm gonna let you know what I really feel about them. The full, ugly truth about them.

Political, religious, personal, even those on the weather, all fair game.

Once upon a time, I asked God to take away my anger for while, and He did. It left me a poor performer, as He took it all, even the self-anger that drove me to do better after screwing up. Cost me my job, reputation, and some other things.I'm not asking him to take away my tact, I'm shelving it myself, tossing out the social graces, save those I cherish. Reminding folks I had the moniker of Cad applied to me by my grandmother, not myself, I just embraced it, then changed the meaning, as society decided being a cad (ungentlemanly fellow) was stylish, having to take upon myself some of those traits once deemed gentleman's creed, to stand out from the crowd as bucking the trend.

Now, I'm walking away, and the need to impress others no longer matters. All that matters, in the end, is impressing myself, my God, and any critters that wander into my camp. And if you are one of the critters? I'm not going to impress you with social graces, my unwavering faith, or any of that. I'll unload on you for disrespecting me and my honor, if you dare criticize me for being there, being a bum, being "damaged good", or any other crap.

Spout off at me, tell me about how I am not smart, you will get the full taste, until you flee, of my intelligence. Every tiny bit, and maybe, if you take it like a person, not a fucking idiot, I might let you do a rebuttal. But I doubt it, that requires tact, and that I'm leaving on a shelf amid society... a society I no longer really recognize as the one I grew up in, aged to this point in.

See, even now, the edge of the terrible sword of my tongue is tearing through it... so I'll stop now. Just, don't press your luck. I'll have no cares left, once up there, until I come back down, and try to bridle my anger, my mouth, and my mind, with tact again of my own free will... assuming I remember which shelf, and where that shelf is, when I get back.

Walking away...for a while

I have had enough.

Been kicked, spit on, looked down at, mocked, and many other things good people should never have done. And, after four years, I've had enough.

I am headed out next weekend to camp for a while, take my soul out, and see if I can repair it, see if there is anything left of it.

This place will be dead, while I am gone, but I urge you, read what I have left, not just here, but in other places... for if you ever meet me, you better be ready to deal with me being back on my own high-horse, really fast, and ready to speak with reason, not what you feel is such.

L8r,
D. Rex.

Walking away...for a while

I have had enough.

Been kicked, spit on, looked down at, mocked, and many other things good people should never have done. And, after four years, I've had enough.

I am headed out next weekend to camp for a while, take my soul out, and see if I can repair it, see if there is anything left of it.

This place will be dead, while I am gone, but I urge you, read what I have left, not just here, but in other places... for if you ever meet me, you better be ready to deal with me being back on my own high-horse, really fast, and ready to speak with reason, not what you feel is such.

L8r,
D. Rex.

Ebola has made it to a 1st world nation... and sadly it is the one known as "Medication-Nation", which means many of the things the experts think they know about the disease are going to either fail them, or prove wrong as we get to see it closer now...

Top of that list, in a nation where so many folks are on various medications, treatments, or self-prescribing over-the-counter meds that suppress parts of the immune system, of which fever is one prime part of... can we really take that 3rd world observed temperature for virus shedding point of 100.4 as the Gold Standard?

No. 

Sorry, but our leaders and professionals fucked this one up, and I refuse to recant that usage of a cuss word...

Add to this, the arrogance that we have, letting folks exposed to something like this continue with daily life like normal? I defer to the man with the Doctorate in Swearology, Sgt. Snorkel of Beetle Bailey fame, to express my feelings on that. But, honestly? We really thought that was the answer? Allowing folks to continue to travel during that incubation period? Look at the chaos that is causing, compared to what some common sense travel bans, and a quarantine in place at the site of exposure, would have wrought (a lot less chaos, and much more trust in the leadership of those in the positions we expect that of, but now we will never know).

I'm on a tear about how #Texas did this to us... in truth, we all have. We became complacent, trusted too much, or handed over too much authority, to fools, apparently. At all levels of government.

Our medical community failed us, by not following their own advice, and moving about, our leaders failed us, by not imposing stricter controls, and making sure all agencies communicated and worked together on all the issues around such outbreaks, and worst, we failed ourselves.

I've sat on this long enough... and that is only 12 hours after I made the connection, reached out, admittedly after hours, to a contact in the local health department, and sent that probably lost missive to the folks at 1600 Penn Ave... lost in the flood of others screaming panic...

Don't trust that 100.4. Viral load in a patient, the population of the virus in that human's body, drives the point where viral shedding, or being infectious, occurs. No medical degree, no degree at all, from a homeless bum, who happens to read a lot... and triggered by seeing someone post, who is doing the right thing, and self-quarantining after exposure, a lower than normal temperature. Sadly, it took me nearly ten hours to make that connection. Ten precious hours, then twelve more, debating with myself if laying this out there is wise, or feeding the frenzy... but, we have to know, and take that bit of caution.

With how Ohio is reacting to Index case 1.2, Ms. Vinson, I think at least some are, but not warning others... and they should. All the symptoms have some way to suppress them... I just hope we find a better diagnostic technique soon, and start using some common sense. Like those brave enough to do the right thing themselves, on their own initiative. Without that medical degree, but with Wisdom.

Warning and suggestions about the times we are in.

Time for Dyfedd Rex to pontificate about something he’d planned to keep quite on. Your choice as to what this is, me staring into some crystal ball or reading Tarot cards, or if I’m using deductive powers like a certain renowned detective stepped from the writings of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle.

We, as a planet, are about to take it in the shorts. Without Mother Nature letting her agents of culling the herds use any lubrication at all…

Period.

When the legendary Four Horsemen ride the world, in a hunting pack, we as a race really don’t stand a chance. Now, before you think I’m saying that this is the End Times, or just scaring folks, let me lay out for you some facts, that the ancient scribes or God, or gods, depending upon your beliefs, really were saying.

Pestilence/Plague, Famine, War, and Death work hand in hand. This is the real message here, today. Each feeds the other, driving the cycle of life that even the greatest of nations must fear. War opens the gates to the Pestilence and Famine, shown in our own often decried and forgotten history, and Death rides his pale horse everyday through us, so we only notice him when that scythe takes larger numbers each swing. Enough with the allegories, time for the facts, the deductions/predictions, and some answers, which, while I am sure some in high places are thinking about, they are taking their own sweet time in doing so. Which will cost us more lives, more freedoms, and maybe our way of life, forever.

War opens the door for diseases to move about easily, as healthcare breaks down in active zones, folks are more worried about surviving the conflict, fleeing places where the dead bodies pile up, than staying healthy, or laying in the supplies/crops to push on beyond the moment. And this, for those in the conflict zone, is fully understandable. You cannot eat crops you are raising if you catch a bullet or are blasted to bits by an explosion, so we run. That running, plus the constant shifting of troops around in the zone, outside it in staging areas, and the rotation home of troops to rebuild morale, re-equip, and train more soldiers.

This leads to a vector for Pestilence, be his form some parasite, some disease, something worse, to ride on those fleeing and fighting into new areas as conflicts shift about the chessboard, reacting to the situations. Famine comes from the places folks flee to, or head back to afterwards, not being prepared for the issues tagging along with them. The World’s current unrest is such a case. Much as WWI was the true spread mechanism for Spanish Flu during the years of the war and after, so too will the current crisis do the same, unless we learn from our past, as several philosophers warn us to do.

Am I saying we should not fight the just wars? No, but we need to move much more cautiously, and that might be why we are resisting so much sending ground troops into the fray against the Islamic State forces. Someone in government is urging caution, and being heeded. This might also explain the recent withdrawal of forces from Ukraine by Russia. Some wise person got Putin’s ear, and warned him of the consequences of continuing a conflict during a pandemic. Not just Ebola, but the enterovirus you see in the news of late, and resurgent, treatment resisting strains of things we thought we beat, like Polio and Tuberculosis. Multiple diseases, with very different presentations, all potentially killers. Not a good scenario for the world.

How is this going to drive Famine? Few these days have a stash of food, unless they accept the ridicule of others for being survivalists, or the religion urges them to have such. The rule of thumb, if we do have to resort to early 20^th Century tactics, is double the incubation period of locking down or quarantining a city, town, household, or what ever level we are forced by the spread of disease to move at. And with the large numbers of folks needing the assistance of food stamps and food banks, here in the U.S., that means Famine will be hitting those folks mid-way through, just as it did during the lockdowns of many places during “The Great Influenza”, who were forced to keep going out to shop, allowing that one vector to continue. Now, Ebola is not quite that contagious, but still, even a slight variance of it’s survival outside a body, could change that into something like the flu, where even wiping with disinfectants is not 100% effective in stopping its spread.

Here in the USA, the most risk groups will be the same as always, the homeless, drug addicts, the immune compromised (be it HIV victims, those recently treated for cancers, transplant recipients who take drugs against rejection, etc.), and any who work with them. IF this outbreak hits them, God help us all. The timing is very scary, as from now until the first week of January is one of the peak times for the transient portion of the homeless to be on the move. I know this, from experience, being homeless much of the last four years myself. The transient section are seeking the shelters and areas with known “Generous Giving Seasons”, where panhandlers make the most money to winter over on. With the crammed and unsanitary conditions in many shelters around our nation, this will prove a problem with no good answer.

Now, one more thing, before I leave. The worst part about any disease, any, is that all it takes to move it from epidemic to pandemic is stupid decisions by supposedly smart people. The homeless, often suffering mental illness, cannot be held to blame as much as those in healthcare and the government who fail to use common sense.

Case in point? Easy. Our Second US transmitted case of Ebola will now be a very difficult to control, thanks to a foolish healthcare worker who took a flight during their supposed time of incubation. One stupid decision, that now lays the other 132 passengers, and all the attending flight support folks, from the ticket agents down onto the ramp rats loading luggage, the TSA folks who inspected the patient’s luggage, and on further, to the virus. A stupid decision, by someone who should have known better. And where was the government in this? Why are those in the 21 day window not on a separate list for “No-Fly” status? Who knows, probably out feeding at the public trough on our tax dollars.  Stupid moves… when the Horsemen are riding, cost lives.

My suggestions? Simple.

1: Take the advice of Doug Adams, from the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy”, and “Don’t Panic”. Seriously, panic will only make it worse. Be calm, cautious, and remember, it ain’t your fault you get a disease, but it will be your fault if it spreads via you. be prepared, wisely. If in a crowded place, do your best to avoid physical contact, keep a spacing of at least an arm’s length… out of not just caution, but courtesy as well.

2:Lay in now a supply of food in case you are exposed, and some serious entertainment supplies to prevent boredom turning you into a maker of dumb decisions. Books, movies, games, you name it. Keep it handy, it ain’t worth it to put others at risk from your exposure. Plan on a sixty day stay, if you have family/roommates, making them stay in place as well. Might be tough, but you don’t want to be responsible for the spread of it.

3: Be aware that some may not know they are a carrier, thanks to this stupid decision, and probably others. Some fool probably took mass transit, or will, along the line.

4: If exposed, do NOT be a damned fool, and expose others, on the assumption that they have told us we cannot catch it until symptoms appear. Self-Quarantine may seem harsh, but your friends, family, and neighbors will thank you for doing it, instead of sharing something by chance.

5: Make a plan now, for such. If you have a good plan, and stick to it, you won't be the next "Typhoid Mary" out there, spreading it around. And, you can protect any loved ones from further exposure. Include ways to communicate during isolation/quarantine, who becomes responsible for kids, pets, homes, etc., and even how to drop food and other supplies off, if not fully prepared in advance. 

My true biggest fear, regarding Ebola, is a carrier developing. Someone who will be asymptomatic, but shed the virus, a modern day “Typhoid Mary” if you will, who will not have a clue what havoc they are creating. God help us all, if that occurs.